


for better or worse

by FinnParker



Series: Crazy in love [3]
Category: Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Jane Austen
Genre: F/M, Heartache, Love, Married Couple, Married Life, Married Sex, Sex, Shameless Smut, Smut, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:48:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27981057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FinnParker/pseuds/FinnParker
Summary: The two have moved into a new flat, into a new life, but have hardly time for each other until Charlotte has a hot idea...
Relationships: Charlotte Heywood & Sidney Parker, Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker
Series: Crazy in love [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1920841
Comments: 133
Kudos: 107





	1. Santa Baby

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back with the first chapter of the continuation of "Trips, eat & love" -  
> to make the pre-Christmas season and life a bit more enjoyable ;-)

I was quite annoyed. Again because of Tom. Contrary to our expectations, he stood in the way of the business, even though he only had a few per cent left, he always had to shoot crosswise so that we couldn't continue with our task. I had absolutely no desire to work with him anymore. In addition, Charlotte was able to start her business relatively well and I was so proud of her, but also very sad and sometimes even angry, because she was always on the run. It was only a few days until Christmas and the moving boxes were still not completely unpacked. Every spare minute we were busy setting up our new home instead of taking care of us. We had absolutely no problems, just too little time for each other. Honestly it had been weeks since we last slept together. Only two to be exact, but we were quite frustrated about it. Charlotte was so through every evening that she fell into bed tired and when I stroked or massaged her she usually fell asleep after a few minutes. Why need people new interior a few weeks before Christmas? And I was often on my way to our holiday apartments to check on them. Despite the fact that Arthur and Diana helped me, it didn't look good for the rest of the year. We had hardly any bookings and we had decided to close the apartments in a few places. Supposedly because of renovations, but the real reason was that we couldn't afford to leave them open. We had already quit several people over the last few months so that we wouldn't sink even more into the red. Which we all owe to Tom. We haven't yet found out all the crimes he has committed, but he has secretly branched off behind our backs to take part in shady deals. He has lost a huge amount of money. I often had the idea to just drop everything and do something completely different. But in contrast to Charlotte, I couldn't free myself and I also had a bad conscience towards my siblings. To the others, not Tom.

Anyway, I was sitting there in my little study at the end of the corridor as I heard Charlotte coming home and was about to walk to her when she just stuck her head through the door, grinning at me and mysteriously commanded.

"Stay where you are."  
"Okay."  
"I have something for you."

Then she was gone again and I wondered if she had bought food on the road again, which we had been doing way too often lately. To be honest, we haven't even opened our kitchen in the new place. 

At least not with cooking.

About twenty minutes later there was a knock on the door, she put her head back in and told me to close my eyes, which I did, of course, and shortly afterwards I heard a rustling sound and that she was typing something. I thought maybe she wanted to show me something on her phone. Then a few sounds came up and then this erotic voice sang "Santa Baby". I opened my eyes and somehow I did not expect what was happening in front of my eyes. Charlotte stood in the doorway in a Santa Claus outfit including the bobble hat. But fortunately without a beard, and came towards me with slow steps. She swung the belt of her coat and made smaller and larger dance movements. All very sweet and innocent, until she turned around and made a slow circular movement with her perfect little ass, crouching down. She came up again, turned around and danced towards me. Turned my chair in her direction, stroked my face and upper body. My little wife pushed my legs apart, stepped in and moved her body very slowly and smoothly against me as if we would have sex already. She pulled the hat from her head and put it on mine, I tried to pull it down, but she shook her head and smiled sweetly. I grabbed her, but like back in Amsterdam she slapped my hand away and her perfect mouth grinned cheeky. Then she slowly undoes the knot of the belt. Slowly opened the coat and I was hoping she was naked, but what she showed me was the most seductive lingerie she had ever worn. A red transparent lace body with white fluffy feathers on the edges and black hold-ups. I had already a hard-on and moaned as she pushed the coat off her shoulders with her hands and dropped it to the floor behind her. She stroke over her delicious bosom, her waist and hips and while she turned around her ass, only covered by a very small tong. She did the sexiest dance moves ever right in front of my face. Her ass looked so hot that I had to adjust my seat to avoid this intense pain in my jeans. In the next moment she more or less stuck her ass in my face as she leaned forward, at the same time pressing my hands on my knees and then sat down on my cock. Very carefully she rubbed herself against me and I moaned. Charlotte slipped from my lap to the floor, turned to me and made a snake-like movement with her body and her beautiful face stroked over my thighs and boner. She touched my chest and tore open my shirt with a strong pull. 

How I loved her!

She stood up, pushed a knee between my legs, held on my shoulders and danced on me in really no Christmassy movements, leaned closer and devoured my mouth. How sweet her mouth tasted! Then she stood up and danced again as in the beginning. Pushed her hair out of her face stroking her bosom gently, her waist, her hips, but this time she let her hands go slowly down between her legs to her knees. Opened them a bit and let her fingers go up. I really thought I was bursting at every moment as she slowly began to stroke herself with one hand and the other went up and pushed the cup away so I could see her perfect little red nipple, which she punched with her fingers. I moaned loud... I knew and still know one day she would be the dead of me. I leaned towards her and tugged her on my lap. I was immediately sucking her nipple into my mouth and grabbed the other through the fine lace and she moaned deeply. In a rush we found our mouths and kissed in an urgent way. I needed to be inside her and she opened my jeans already while the last sounds of the song echoed in my head. I grabbed her tighter and she tried to sit down on my lap, but the stupid armrests were in the way. She stood again and I groaned. “Don’t!” 

But wordless she turned around and sat down on my hard cock and rubbed on me a few times until she got up a bit so I could push my legs together so she was able to sit on me. But Charlotte stood again and pushed my jeans and briefs down my legs and leaned down. I kissed and stroked her ass till she moaned and I shoved the lace beside and kissed her pussy with my hungry mouth. I licked her and her taste was still the best thing and I was so hard, my cock jumped up. And Charlotte couldn't wait any longer either, pushed her soaked string a bit more aside and I pulled her to me and at the same moment pressed in her in such a fast movement that we both groaned loudly. The feelings overwhelmed me. It was so hot in her. I sat up and kissed her back, her shoulder blades. But than she began to move. A couple of times she quickly lifted up and came down again in a fast pace, she wanted to have it this way at first because the need for me was too big. But at some point I grabbed her hair and pulled her back almost brutally. "Uhhhh, damn it!" she screamed but kept on moving on me. Her head rested on my shoulder and I could play with her tongue and we slowed down. Outside our moths we let our tongues fight and as I told often before they just fucked each other. Charlotte sunk onto my chest and I could free her other bosom from the lace. I kneaded her almost painful, but we both didn't care. We needed it. My other hand run down her body and I played with her clit. It needed only a little pressure on this little bud and she came so violent, I was afraid she would slide down from me. And I devoured her mouth again as she moaned into mine. I sat up straighter and lifted her almost from my lap, she pushed my legs apart and I turned the chair to the table. The grip on the table let her knuckles turn white, she held on for dear life, but sank down on me in a very slow and smooth pace. The muscles of her back moved in the same pace and I kissed and licked it. We did this for some time, till she got a bit faster and let her head sank to the table. I only heard her crying my name and I moved my hips as fast as I could while sitting, but we soon noticed that we needed something else and I put my feet a bit stronger to the floor, gripped her hips tighter and pulled her down as fast as I cold.

“Oooh Siiiidneey!” She cried and than she made very painful sounds and I stopped. She tried to push herself up, but I felt her legs shaking. I stood and she weight like nothing and sank down on the table. I gave her a moment and pumped into her in a even slower pace and I felt her clench down on me. I got a bit faster and the noises of our bodies filled the room, just like her moans and my grunts. I groaned her name and she knew what to do. Charlotte leaned across the table on her elbows so I could get to her bosom and pinch her nipples. But above all that was the position that helped us to fuck for an extremely long time. I moved in small, quick movements. Then I pulled my cock, almost all the way out and I heard her gasp before I rammed it deep and hard into her, and she liked it. Oh yes, she liked it! Once, twice, three times I felt her trembling and her cry asking for more. And I gave her more. And more. I gave her so much more. I gave her everything I could give her. And pounded into her soft pussy so hard that she just screamed my name once. And I didn't stop until I pressed her on the table under me and bit her neck, not hard of course but, I just wanted to show her how much I loved her.  
"Yes, yes, please babe, please!" she begged and I tried to drag it out as long as possible and continued to fuck her until she clamped down on me so violently, that I screamed. "Fuuck Charlotte, fuck!“ I poured into her and sank down till we both lay there flat like one of the papers on my desk. 

Only when I lay heavy and empty on her, I noticed there was something dangling in my face. It was the stupid Santa hat and I stood slowly up and pulled her with me. Charlotte turned around in my arms, but instead to laugh at me because of the hat she said.

"Give me a little break and then do it again“, she leaned closer “please!“ stroked over the edge of this stupid thing on my head and whispered “Santa baby.“


	2. Merry Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte and Sidney relax at Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you celebrate Christmas or not I wish all of you a nice time and enjoy your holidays and this chapter. I hope you can relax as well, before the real life gets us back.

Charlotte lay lazily and tiredly on the sofa and that alone was a rare sight. But the night had been short and the year exhausting. So much had happened since we met that it often seemed to me as if we had been together much longer than less than a year. She was dozing off. One hand in her hair, a curl wrapped around her finger, one leg dangling from the sofa. And even though she was wearing one of those awful Christmas suits, those all-body condoms that were completely shapeless but seemingly cosy, to me she was the most beautiful woman I had ever met. I sat down at the sofa, took her foot and began to massage it slowly. She hummed happily as my hands moved up her leg after a while and also massaged her calves and thighs. At some point my hand went up the inside of her leg and automatically she opened her thighs for me. I began to caress her, at first without touching the place I wanted to touch the most, but then I slowly slid my thumbs over this place. And she opened her legs a little more. I rubbed the flat of my hand against her and it wasn't long before I felt her wetness seeping through the thick fabric of her suit. She moaned my name and moved to the rhythm of my hand. But I wanted to tease her a little, just like she teased me with that awful suit, and I reached between her breasts to open her zipper. But I didn't touch her warm skin underneath. 

"Sidney!" she rumbled angrily, but I didn't care and continued to stroke her through the fabric of her suit, which was already completely soaked with her lust. But my restraint didn't stop Charlotte from tormenting me as well. She pulled the suit more open and I groaned as her perfect red nipples popped out of the fabric, as if they were happy to be allowed out at last. She first stroked her breasts as if by accident, before suddenly grabbing them hard and moaned in the way as if it were my strong hands. She pulled one nipple between her index finger and thumb and twisted it with her fingertips. It was hard to look at and yes my dick as well. But before I could do anything, she grabbed the other bosom with her other hand, raised her head and tried to reach the nipple with her tongue, but she couldn't reach it. She made a distorted noise and begged me to finally do it.  
“Sidney, please!” God how I loved when she begged me to do anything like this to her. I slid off the sofa, crawled to her and without doing anything else, my lips enclosed her nipple and sucked it firmly into my mouth.

"Oooh.!" Charlotte cried out, writhing in a mixture of pain and pleasure as I slowly bit down with my teeth, lashing the nipple with my tongue. Her hand still held one bosom in a strong grip as she grabbed my neck with the other and pressed me against her. My hand squeezed her bosom so that I could get more of it into my mouth and worked the nipple in a fast rhythm while my other hand quickly slipped under the fabric of her suit. She had no panties on and my fingers found her wet hot pussy. Immediately I pushed two fingers in, no more teasing or waiting. She moaned and I pumped into her hard as she tried to free herself from the awful Christmas suit. No sooner was the thing finally pulled from her body than she sat up and I buried my head in her lap. I would never get tired of licking her. It was the best thing ever. I pulled her forward a little, pushed her legs apart and looked at her face, and then I took my thumbs and spread her folds apart to look at her glistening pink pussy. I blew on her wet folds kissed her leg and blew again. Until she begged me to kiss her there. I licked the full length of her slit, dug my tongue between her folds and licked her with long pleasurable strokes. She was moaning and panting my name till I had licked her almost dry, I let her go for a moment, pushed two fingers back inside and pumped in a much slower rhythm while I gently stroked her clit with the tip of my tongue. In small circles. I felt her getting wetter again and I licked faster. She rested one leg on my shoulder and I felt her whole body relax further. I kept pumping in the same rhythm. Charlotte moaned and moved her hips in the slow rhythm I dictated with my hand. But then I sucked her clit violently into my mouth and she cried out. “Ahh fuck!” clawing her fingernails into my neck. I just wanted to tease her again, with the tip of my tongue I stroked her clit very slowly, one, two, three times. Then I circled in a larger circle and could not help but gently press my teeth carefully into the tender flesh. She moaned loud. I grabbed her bosom with one hand, squeezed and played with it with my fingers and than sucked her again deeply into my mouth. My wife cried my name again and grinded her hips in my face. I pushed her legs further apart and I kissed her damp warmth. She was so soft and her earthy scent penetrated my senses and I wanted her so much that I almost gave in, but I wanted to show her how much I loved her and licked her even softer. I let my hands slowly run over her thighs and in impatient anticipation she literally fidgeted around until my fingers of my right hand touched the spot where her legs met. My dick jerked and I breathed deeply in and out. Her slippery red heat was waiting for me and I looked up at her once more. Her divine appearance glittering golden in the light of the candles of our Christmas decoration and she looked down on me with half closed eyes. She licked her lips as I opened my mouth again and our eyes remained locked as I slowly licked her whole length again. It was not enough. I stiffened my tongue and pushed it deeper into her. She drew the air in sharply and I repeated it a few times. Quickly. She moaned my name and her juice ran down my chin. Once again I sucked the little bud hard into my mouth. She cried out breathlessly.  
"Sidney, oohhh." I tried to lean back, but she grabbed my head and screamed, "Don’t stop, don’t stop!" I licked her with long strokes with my flat tongue. So I could take in more of her. It was so good. So good. I sipped on her, nibbled slightly and her moans filled the room.  
"I love you!" I told her in the wet heat and than I wrote it into her hot slippery pussy, she moaned so softly that I thought she cried. I withdrew again and she stuttered  
"N-n-no. Sid..ne..eyy, please.." and I blew across her wet folds again to give her some time to recover, and she breathed heavily. I put one hand on her flat stomach and held her in place. Then I started my attack. I sucked her so hard that her whole body rose and she desperately grabbed my hair. Then I stiffened my tongue again and drilled it deep into her and pumped in and out deeper and deeper. Faster, faster. Her walls clenched around my tongue and I would not stop, I would not stop. Charlotte trembled and her sighs filled the urge deep inside me. Her hand in my hair pulled painfully and I knew she was done again, but I wanted more. My jaw hurt, but I wanted her to get weaker. She was violent shaking and I sucked on her. Again. She screamed my name and I did it again. I sucked her fold in my mouth and punched it with my tongue. She came again shortly afterwards, but I wasn’t done yet. I continued with my task and she writhed under my torture. “Too much!!” She cried in a weak voice and I became tender. But only for a short time. I caressed her softer and kissed her thigh. Slowly I got up and bent over her. Kissed her red nipples of her beautiful swollen bosom. I kneaded them, kissed between them and than trailed light kisses down. She made a sound that reveals pain and lust and I paused.  
"Sid..ney." I looked for her eyes, and she locked them with mine. She puts her hands on my face and pulled me towards her, but I didn’t move, till she let go of my face and let her head sink to the back of the sofa. I kissed her stomach, pressed my face into the warm skin, till I dipped my face between her legs again. First I shoved my tongue between her swollen folds. Only short and withdrew it immediately. I did it again till she got used to the rhythm, than I licked her with long strokes, she was so wet, that I spread it with my mouth and that I sucked her juice from her till she cried again. But I wasn’t finish, took a deep breath and than drilled my stiff tongue into her heat and pressed my nose to the bud and I smelled her lust and my dick was so hard that I thought I would come even before she got her next orgasm. But I tried my best. I got faster. And she clenched down again. I needed a little break, but only put my head on her stomach and stroked her with my fingers. She made strange noises but I pushed my fingers deep into her and she breathed hard in as I made her come again with my fingers. Charlotte couldn’t speak any more and just sank on the sofa. I tried to give her a break and stroked my hard member to release the pain. Charlotte just looked at me, and her whispered words made me even harder.  
"Please come here." 

I pushed me up and kneeled down on the sofa between her legs, one I put over the backrest, the other around my hip as I entered her. I was afraid that I would come the moment her walls closed around me. I waited a moment than I pulled back and stroked her inner walls with my dick. Slowly till she moaned in this special sound and I got faster. Charlotte arched her back and I slid deeper. She wasn’t able to push her hips towards me or grab me she only whimpered my name. I grabbed her hands and pressed them over her head and she sucks in the air, she knew what was to come, but I waited to be sure she was still with me. How I loved to lick her and then fuck her almost senseless.  
"Sid..ney... please." That was the answer I needed and I pressed down on her with my whole body and put a foot down on the floor to get a better hold and than there was no holding back, I was like a wild animal. I devoured her mouth and slammed into her in a hard, maddening rhythm. In and out. In and out, in and out. Again and again and again. Harder. Harder. Again and again and again. Faster, faster. More and more. Her walls sucked me deeper as she came again and cried that was maybe my name, but I couldn’t understand. My dick throbbed inside her and I but I slammed into her a few more times. I got just a bit faster and loosed my rhythm as I exploded in a bright red light.

We lay sweaty and entwined on our small sofa and I kissed her neck lovingly, but neither of us was able to speak. Or move. My jaw ached a little and my tongue felt swollen. I knew she loved what I did. She told me with every sound and touch. And she knew how much I loved her with every lick of my tongue.

But if I had known what was going to happen to us, I would have used my mouth not to show her how much I loved her but to tell her. Over and over again.


	3. The New Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They can't keep their hands of each other at the New Year's party, but the next day will change everything....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy even when it gets a bit... heavier.

The New Year's party was quite nice at the beginning. More than nice to be honest. We all had quite a bit of fun, maybe we had drunk a bit too much, but we didn't care. I should have noticed that something was different than usual, but as always with charlotte, at a certain point my brain shut down and I just wanted to be close to her. Or to put it right, I had the need to be inside her. It was no wonder. In her tight red mini dress with the glitter on the front, she had already turned me on before we had even left our home. Then she had stockings on again and kept stroking my thigh under the table. Close to my all too willing member, so that at some point I grabbed her hand and pulled it out from under the table and kissed it. But Charlotte was in this particular mood where everything she did just screamed sex and when she pouted her lips like a little pouty girl and looked at me with those round eyes, I had to swallow desperately. Now if someone asked me to get up from the table I would be exposed, which was not what I wanted and she knew exactly what she was doing. Very slowly she put her lips, made up in the same red, around the tip of her thumb, she opened her mouth and pushed her thumb a little further in. I saw her white teeth clasping it before she opened her mouth wider and pushed her thumb even further into her beautiful mouth. Her perfect lips closed around it softly and then she slowly let it slide out. But before the thumb left her mouth, her lips snapped back and let it slide out even more slowly. I swallowed and felt myself struggling to keep control. Her mouth was open. Only when she was sure I was still watching her did she let the thumb rest on her lower lip. I knew what was coming, but I couldn't look away and I gasped when she circled the tip of her thumb with the tip of her tongue. My cock also knew it was meant and twitched in my much too tight pants.

Luckily, my siblings went out in the garden with my nieces and nephews to count down and watch the fireworks. And as soon as we were alone, I grabbed her hand and pulled it away from her mouth. But that didn't stop Charlotte. She brought my hand to her mouth and took my thumb in her mouth. Very slowly she sucked it into her mouth and stared into my eyes.  
"You’re trying to kill me." I moaned as she moved closer and I tried to kiss her.  
"Just lick you." she said bluntly and sucked my tongue into her wet mouth, making me want to be alone with her right now.

I got up before we stopped kissing and I dragged her down to my old flat, which my sister now lived in, but since she had a new boyfriend and was with him today, we could go there undisturbed. As soon as we entered my old room, Charlotte was already tugging at my pants. As soon as they slipped down to my ankles, she had me in her mouth. And suddenly my cock was so hard and she moaned as she sucked it deep into her mouth. I groaned, not only because of the feeling of being in her wet hot mouth, but also because the sight was still so overwhelming, my little wife kneeling in front of me and my huge cock disappearing in her mouth in a maddening slow rhythm. Her hard nipples pressed through the thin fabric of her dress and since I couldn't grab them, I reached into her hair and pressed her tighter against me. She loved it when I guided her, she had confessed to me once, even though I did nothing but rumple her hair. She stroked my balls and licked my cock greedy so that I quickly realised it would soon be over. I pulled her head back and tugged her until she was standing. She knew what I wanted and she rolled up her dress, let me lift her up and no sooner had she pushed her panties to the side than I was already drilling into her. She was still so damn tight and each time I had to wait a moment before I could move. Damn how I loved being inside her. 

"Sidney." She grumbled in a tortured voice and I started to move. "More." She moaned into my ear and I pushed her harder against the wall, and as soon as I felt her wedged firmly between me and the wall, I sped up and pounded into her. She held my neck and grabbed my hair until I went even faster and fucked her in an ever-increasing rhythm. "Is this what you want?" I cried and grabbed her bosom so hard that she squealed. "Yes, yes!" it sounded tortured and I knew she wanted it harder. And as I did what she wanted I went faster. "Yes, yes, oooh yeees!!" and I heard the pounding against the wall. She sought my mouth and kissed me dirty. I held her face by the chin and pounded more and more into her as our eyes met. But what finished me off were her words. "I love you so."  
I moaned and she took my thumb in her mouth and sucked it violent into her mouth until I came so hard that I thought I would fall over. I yelped into her neck. Kissed it and moaned into her ear. "Damn how I love you." she stroked my neck. "I love you and your dick inside me." "Me too." 

We laughed and slowly pulled away from each other. Disheartened as we were, we went into the adjoining bathroom and freshened up. Then we went up the stairs, took our jackets and met the others outside. We stood there, arm in arm. Overwhelmed by our feelings for each other and in thoughts just a few minutes ago. Only when we had been handed a glass of champagne did we detach. We all congratulated each other on the New Year and hugged my family. As Charlotte watched me, I suddenly saw her make a face and looked in her jacket pocket for her mobile phone. Of course she wanted to call her family, but apparently she had forgotten the phone inside. She pressed her glass into my hand and ran in the house. After she had called her family and we went home after the children went to bed, we came home a bit tired but not tired enough to keep our hands off each other. This time we went straight into the shower and kissed and touched till we were naked. She took my member in her hand and stroked me almost too tender and I was about to come immediately, till I grabbed her and asked her to wait. We got into the shower, we soaped and stroked our bodies gently and with more pressure, but left out the parts we needed and wanted the touch the most. We loved and hated it at the same and only increasing our desire. At some point I couldn’t stand it any longer and bent down to kiss her hard and kneaded her bosom, kissed her down her neck and licked over her perfect little nipples. Her moans get louder and she tugged on my length again and in a desperate voice I asked her how she wanted me. Charlotte turned around and I took her nipples between my fingers, pinched them and stroked her ass with my dick, till she got to her knees and looked at me over her shoulder. I leaned over her, till we had arranged our legs and pushed into her hot slippery pussy up to the shaft. I took it slow. So slow that I felt her tremble before I even got my rhythm right. “Sidney,” her voice was desperate and I knew what to do. I tried to torture her a bit and only get a few strokes faster before I got slow again. She clawed her fingernails into my underarms, and straightened up, pressed her hands against the wall and prepared herself for a slow pace. I took my dick almost out of her and pushed slowly backs in, withdrew and slowly back in. Once. Twice. Oh yes she liked it too. But I surprised her and one moment later I pushed the entire way in. Charlotte moaned.  
"Do you like that?" I asked in her skin and she whispered, "Yes please, I like it." "You want me to do it again?" "Yes, babe, please." And I did it. Over and over again. She clenched down on me and could barely hold it back, but I did and withdrew slowly and pushed back in a bit deeper. "Uuuh. Yes babe.. Oooh I love it." I did it again and she begged me not to stop and I did what she wanted. She arched her back and my knees hurt, but I knew we needed to continue a little bit. I wanted her so much. She moaned again and one moment later I withdrew again and pushed back a bit harder. I got so fast, that we both cried out.  
"Oh fuck yes!" Charlotte cried as she arched her back and turned her head so our tongues could lick. I loved to fuck her in doggy style while the warm water of the shower pelted down on us. It was incredible. And not only because of this forever in my memory.

Unfortunately, the first day of the year was over sooner than we had hoped and we fell asleep early to get rid of the stress of the past year and our night. Unfortunately, Charlotte had to go to a client outside London the next day to go through samples for wallpaper and carpets. We kissed as she left and made plans for the evening. I had bought some food and I tried a less elaborate recipe from the cookbook she had given me for Christmas. She wrote to me as she was leaving her client's house and I had enough time to prepare everything. The mussels and prawns clean the salad and grill the vegetables. I set the table like it said in the cookbook, put candles everywhere and looked at the clock. I hated it when she was away for the whole day. It was really bad, we couldn't be away from each other for to long. I needed her closeness and she needed mine like it was vital. I started cooking, because according to my calculations she should be home in a few minutes and since she always needed a little time to arrive and put some things away, the time would be right. But apparently I had miscalculated, because the food was ready faster than I had thought. I took a look on my watch, and was about to call her, but she didn’t liked to be on the phone while driving and so I tried to keep the food warm and cut the baguette. In between I also heard a noise, as if she was putting her key in the lock and went into the hallway. 

Her thick winter jacket next to mine. Her boots still smeared with dirt, next to my worn-out jogging shoes. One glove was lying on the floor. I went over there, picked it up and put it to the other one. I looked at the door but it didn't move. It was all right, it was probably just taking a bit longer than I thought. That was quite normal. Everything was normal. The hallway looked exactly the same as when she had left. Everything was at its place, everything was as usual.

Except that she didn't come back.


	4. the worst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney is worried about Charlotte and tries to find out what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am taking you to a dark place but...
> 
> "And the Light shineth in darkness, and the darkness comprehended it not."  
> John 1:5

I had to stop myself from going crazy. I thought for a moment about what might be preventing her from coming home and the only thing that could be was that she had had an accident. The panic rose up inside me and while I was on the phone waiting for her to pick up, I pushed the pan off the cooker and blew out the candles. I knew something had happened. I had that knowledge inside me. I felt it deep in my bones. The cold that crept from the inside out. I felt sick. I left her another voicemail. Then I hung up and called the police. I felt like they were taunting me, saying something about how someone wasn't missing until they'd been missing for twenty-four hours. But I just knew something wasn't right. I called her phone again, parallel searching my tablet for traffic jams on the route she had taken. I only knew because she always looked at the route she had to take the next day the night before. Apparently there was neither a traffic jam nor a construction site on the highway and I was puttering around in our kitchen when I called my brother Arthur and asked him to come over. Since she had our car, I needed his. Arthur tried to stop me from going to look for her and talked stupidly about an empty tank. 

"I filled up yesterday!" I yelled at him, "she had to prepare something and I went to get gas."  
"Well, I'm sure nothing happened."  
"Then why isn't she answering her phone, for fuck's sake?" I yelled so loudly that he twisted the steering wheel a little in fright.  
"Maybe the battery of her phone died."  
"Arthur, I tripped over the charging cable this morning, her phone is charged!"  
"Maybe she had a date with someone else."  
"She let me know she was leaving, knowing I would then start cooking."  
"Sidney," Arthur ran a hand through his hair, "maybe she needed some time to herself."  
Dumbfounded, I looked at him. "Are you crazy?"  
"I'm just saying, maybe...I mean it's all so intense with you guys..."  
"What are you saying?" I was really pissed and if I weren’t too messy I would have kicked him out of the car.  
"I mean, maybe she wanted to be alone for a bit."  
"Charlotte and I talk about everything, even when it gets too much, believe me, we're not like other people."  
"Are you talking about me and Brian?" he asked indignantly and even though I knew it was a sore point, I wouldn't let anyone or anything talk down my relationship with Charlotte.  
"Yes, he left because you cheated on him!" Bam, that had hurt, now Arthur would deny again that he had done it and I wanted to believe him, but it was still very farfetched.  
"Those flowers and the phone calls were from a stranger, I don't know that guy!" he shouted, clawing his hands around the wheel as if he wanted to rip it out.  
"Even if that were true, why would anyone do that?"  
"To break Brian and me up!" He huffed, banging on the steering wheel.  
"If you want me to believe that, even though you weren't monogamous in the past, then believe me that Charlotte doesn't need a time out from me!"  
We were silent for a moment. "We love each other," I said softly.  
"I know."  
"I can feel when something is wrong, you know?"  
"Yes, I know."  
"Good Arthur, now please drive a little faster."

My panic increased with every kilometre we drove. The roads were sparsely populated and even though it was already too dark to see everything clearly, there was nothing to indicate that someone had had an accident. I called her again, but I kept ending up on the mailbox. The lights of the roads and the few cars coming towards us made the rainy evening all the more nightmarish. My fear for her kept bringing tears to my eyes, which I vigorously wiped away. I kept looking at the display of my phone. Since the feedback from her friends that they hadn't heard from her either, there were no new messages and my hand was sweating so much that I dropped the phone more than once. The navi in Arthur’s car guided us down from the motorway and after a few traffic lights we came closer to the destination indicated on the display. And as we turned into the street, a cold shiver run over me and I doubted what I was doing. Maybe I had overreacted? Because only a few metres further on, where Arthur parked, was our car. I unbuckled my seatbelt and ran across the street before Arthur had even parked properly. I looked into the car. And a feeling of icy cold came over me. I felt empty. Her purse was on the passenger seat. Just like her phone. And the notebook she always had with her to record the client's wishes and make short sketches. Bloody hell, what had happened? I looked at my phone. Nothing. I looked around at the houses in this neighbourhood with their huge gardens. The fabric samples for the curtains and carpets were in the boot. But as they were quite heavy, she would probably park as close to her client's house as possible. I looked up. The building in front of me was dark. Not a single light was on. Maybe she had gone somewhere with the woman? Needlessly, I walked through the front garden, which alone was twice as big as the garden of Bedford place. I rang the bell, knocked and called hello. Unfortunately, I didn't have a name and there was none at the bell either. So there were people who had just moved here or maybe didn't even live here yet. I was desperate and my heart was pounding in my head. I was really scared. What had happened to her? Had she been kidnapped? There were crazy people everywhere. Shit. I saw Arthur next to me, but he already blurred before my eyes. My whole field of vision contracted and my head hurt so badly that I thought it would burst.

"We'll have to ask the neighbours," I groaned and was already walking across the street when my phone rang. I didn't look at the display but answered it immediately.  
"Yes?"  
"Mr Parker?"  
"Yes, who is it?"  
"Good evening, my name is Dr Fuchs," Shit, shit! Fucking shit, what had happened? What was wrong with her? Charlotte! Charlotte!! I could hardly hear what he was saying. My lungs were tightening. I couldn't breathe. My throat was tight.  
"I’m sorry to inform you that your wife is her in the hospital."  
"What?" 

I couldn't think of anything else to say, and the doctor said something, but all I understood was that she was in the surgery room... had several broken bones. I couldn't hear anything anymore. Suddenly I was sitting in the car again. Arthur was talking, but I couldn't hear anything except my blood rushing in my ears. I imagined the worst. Charlotte in the surgery. How badly was she injured that they had do it? Bone fractures. What kind of bone fractures? What had happened? I couldn't think of anything but her smile when she left the flat this morning. Shit. I felt so sick. My bile was rising. I really felt like I was going to throw up. Arthur gave me a damp cloth, where did he get it? It smelled disgusting. Like the perfume of an old aunt, but I couldn't remember her name at the moment. It was so bad that I just dropped it and opened the window. I needed air. Air. Charlotte. Charlotte was my air. 

Suddenly we stopped in a badly lit car park. Everything whizzed past me. Arthur held me by the arm. He was talking to a nurse. Then I was suddenly in a narrow corridor. It smelled of linoleum, disinfectant, of sickness. The floor squeaked under my feet. I felt like I was going under water. It was all thick like jelly. Someone was talking to me, but I wanted to see Charlotte. Where was she? Damn it, where?

"Where is she?" I said, and the guy in the white coat asked me to sit down.   
"Where is she?" I asked again and I felt Arthur push me into a chair. I don't know how long we sat there. I didn't hear anything. All I could think of was Charlotte. Her smile. Her soft hair. Her gentle fingers stroking my face. Her laugh. A cold pain ran through me. Oh god, what if I never hear her laugh again?   
"You will, calm down." said Arthur and although I didn't know what he meant I nodded. I was glad he was with me; he had such a calm manner. He was on the phone. He patted my knee. I couldn't think. I counted the spots on the wall on the opposite site. The rhythm of the lights flickering above us. The squeak of the staff's shoes. I stared at the floor. I saw her face in the shadow of my chair. Then the shadow grew. I looked up. A stocky man stood in front of me. I jumped up.  
"Where is she?" "She’s being taken to a room right now." "I want to see her." "I know you will." I couldn't feel my face. I couldn't feel myself speak. My voice was asking questions I hadn't even thought.   
"Now she is stable so far." the doctor said. What did that mean? What did he mean? Had she not been stable at some point? How is she, what was going on, what had happened? I wanted to see her. I had to see her. Now!  
"Come." he said and walked away. Arthur was at my side. He was no longer holding my arm, but he was very close. I could smell him. His powdery perfume mixed with sweat. His face was milky white and he had tired eyes.   
"Please, just Mr Parker." said the doctor and I stopped with him in front of a door, reaching for the handle.  
"Just a moment, please." the doctor said, making me look at him. He had a small pair of horn-rimmed glasses on. His eyes seemed awake but tiny. Could he even see properly? Was he even capable of taking good care of Charlotte? Why did he have such a strange hard accent?  
"Mr Parker, please don't be alarmed." What the fuck was he saying? I shouldn't be scared of seeing my wife right now. What was that supposed to mean? How bad was it? I felt the tears in my eyes and my heart ached in my chest.  
"We had to made an extension treatment on her right leg."  
I couldn't understand a word. "It looks worse than it is," he said, and for a moment I wondered if it wouldn't be better to shut up. Doctors really shouldn't try to be empathetic, they just can't.  
"Her arm is in plaster cast. It was a clean break."   
I nodded and walked closer to the door, I wanted to see her. Now.  
"The body has a reflex of trying to catch a fall."  
"Fall?" I thought it was a car accident. But yes, our car was still parked at her client's house. I was stunned. "I want to see her."  
"She's asleep, and she might seem a little confused by the events and the narcosis when she wakes up." "Events?" my voice sounded hollow.

The doctor looked at me, nodded briefly and then opened the door for me. It still hit me unexpectedly. Her leg in a metal wire frame, her beautiful leg was blue and where the wire poked in, the skin looked swollen and crusted with blood. Her arm was in a white plaster cast on a pillow across her stomach. Her head was turned away from me and suddenly I was standing on the other side of the bed. Someone pushed a chair under my ass and I sat down. She had a huge plaster on her forehead, it was blue under her eye. Her face blurred before my eyes and I reached for her hand. Her fingers seemed thick and warm, some kind of measuring device was stuck on her index finger, this finger she had used to smear the jam off my lip this morning. There was a cannula in the back of her hand; I followed the tube with my eyes. Some kind of liquid was slowly dripping into it. Drip. Drip. Drip. It seemed to drip in time with her heartbeat, which could be heard quietly from the unit in the corner behind me. I reached out carefully and pushed her hair out of her face. If it weren’t for the plaster and the blue on her face, you'd think she was asleep. Which she was, but still… I moved closer and kissed her cheek. She was very cold and while I looked at her, my tears dripped onto her face. My fingers trembled as I wiped them away. The doctor was standing at the foot of the bed looking at some papers.   
"What happened?" My voice sounded as if it were someone else’s.  
"As far as we can surmise, from the nature of the injuries... it must have been a violent fall."  
"I don't understand."

Several scenarios were playing in my head and I just couldn't make sense of it. Where had she fallen? On the street? But you don't fall on the street and have injuries like that! I could only stare at her and stroke her face. I said her name a few times. But no movement. At some point a nurse came in, adjusted something on the machine and disappeared again. I was suddenly unspeakably tired and laid my head down next to hers. I continued to stare into her face. I said her name. That I loved her. That I was here waiting for her. That everything would be all right. I closed my burning eyes and saw her face as it actually looked. Flawless. I heard her laugh. How light she was when I twirled her around. Her in the light of our Christmas decorations. The sparkle in her eyes as she opened her gift. I saw her running in front of me on the beach in Bali. Her happy face at our wedding. I saw as I put the ring on her finger. My mother's rose quartz ring. She wanted that and no other. Her radiance and her voice as she whispered my name. I startled.

"Charlotte." I was so happy when she slowly opened her eyes. A huge weight lifted from me and I stroked her face. "Hey, babe." and I gasped as if for the first time in days. I was so relieved.  
"Hey." she looked worried and was searching my eyes. Of course. She first had to understand where she was and what had happened.  
"You're in the hospital."  
"What...why..." I heard her heartbeat beeping louder from the unit.   
"You fell." I said, hoping that she could now tell me exactly what had happened.  
"But why are you here?"  
"Why?" I had to laugh, why did she ask that? It was obvious why I was here. Well, maybe she was still so anaesthetised that she didn't know she was badly hurt.  
"Did you bring me here?" her cheeks coloured a little and I didn't know exactly how to answer.  
"I don't know who brought you here, they called me."  
"Because I fell?"  
"Yes." Suddenly I got a strange feeling in my stomach it was tingling in my head.  
"In your club?"  
"My club?" What was she talking about?

She turned her head away from me and closed her eyes. She seemed infinitely exhausted and I felt cold. Ice cold as she murmured.

"We danced."


	5. questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is still the night in the hospital, Sidney is devastated, Charlotte is asleep, some people are trying to do their job and one question keeps coming up, wtf happened ???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very pleased that some of you could remember something that pointed to this!  
> I never thought that my stories would be taken so seriously. You have really made my day! Love you all!

I couldn't believe it. I was freezing. FUCK!! What the fuck had happened? Why was she thinking about that? Would she ever get her memories back? Was it just temporary? Is that why she looked at me like that? Did she think she had fallen in the club where we met? Had she forgotten everything? Everything in between? She could forget the heartache I had caused her, but everything else? What a load of shit! I should ask a doctor. But under no circumstances would I leave her side. No. I noticed that I was holding her hand and loosened my grip, I didn't want to hurt her, nor did I want my fear to prevent her medicine from flowing properly. I looked at the monitor, her heartbeat was calm again. I had no idea what the other data showed, but since no one chased me out of the room, it was probably okay. I looked at her, she had turned her head so that I could see the intact side of her face. It looked the same as always, beautiful, a little pale but as if I were standing at our bed in the morning with her coffee in my hand, the smell of which was about to wake her up. Her sleepy look and her smile when I stroked her fingers. I did that now too and I saw that her ring was gone. I hadn't noticed that before. Had she been mugged? Oh shit! Had some wanker hurt her to steal the ring? My heart was hammering in my chest and the aching headache was back. And as if she sensed my restlessness, the alarm suddenly went off. I panicked. What had happened, what was going on? Why wasn't anyone coming? I took the bell in my hand and pressed it like crazy. It felt like an eternity later, a nurse came strolling in, as if she was on a shopping tour, I would have liked to jump up and shake her. My look probably told her everything that was going on in my head and she tried to explain it in a friendly way. "The infusion is through." What was that supposed to tell me? She hung a new bottle on the stand, fiddled with the hose and typed something into the machine behind me. Then she bent down and picked up a bag. "It would probably be better if you went out for a minute." "Why? No I'm not leaving, I'm staying with her, I'm not leaving her. No way!" I exclaimed in panic and she smiled gently at me. "Mr Parker, I understand your concern." I wasn't sure she did, but I remained silent for now to hear what she had to say. "But I need to change the urine bag and take her temperature." "Her ring is gone." I answered, looking at the woman with narrowed eyes, as if she had taken it from her. "You can go to the nurses' station and get your wife's things." She waited, and then took a step closer, but I just stayed seated, I didn't want to leave Charlotte alone. "Your wife is fine." "You call that fine?" I bluffed at her, but she didn't even flinch.   
"Go and get her things, then you can come back in." She pulled the chair out from under me and pushed me towards the door. I stared at Charlotte and it pained me to leave her alone, but as soon as I stepped into the hallway, the door was pushed shut. I looked at the bench next to her room, where Arthur was sitting snoring quietly. I rubbed my face, looked the other way and walked towards the room with "nurses' room" written above it. I knocked on the door and there was already a little fat nurse standing in front of me, asking for my name. Then she disappeared to get a bag that seemed to contain Charlotte's clothes and a small plastic box. "Please check that everything is there." She handed me a piece of paper that seemed to list what Charlotte had with her when she arrived. I found her ring and breathed a sigh of relief, the gold earrings I had given her for her birthday, the slim wristwatch, a wedding present from her parents, to which I was wearing the counterpart, and her key. I wondered briefly where everything else was, but then I remembered that it was in the car. It occurred to me that this was very strange. She never went anywhere without her mobile phone. I thought about why all her things were in the car, but she had apparently injured herself outside the car. Had she got out again? Why? Maybe she had left something at her client's house? It didn't make any sense!

"A tea?" The nice nurse asked and I said yes and a few minutes later gratefully accepted the cup she held out to me. But I didn't drink, I just held it in my hands and somehow tried to feel warmth again. I looked up at a noise behind me and it was the nurse who had thrown me out of the room. "When Charlotte was awake for a moment earlier, she didn't seem to remember." I babbled on without taking into account that the two night nurses might have had something else to do. "It's quite normal to forget an accident and through the anaesthetic and painkillers..." "No, me… us." I shouted. It hurt to say it. "She mentioned something at the very beginning." My vision blurred again. Fuck! It made me cry and I turned away, and then the older of the two pushed past me and patted my arm. "I'll get a doctor." then she was gone.

"Mr Parker," began this short doctor from earlier, the one with the hard accent, but I'd forgotten his name and the sign on his doctor's coat was so twisted I couldn't read it. It didn't matter I wanted answers. "You have to understand, the events that put your wife in this situation are painful for her and the human brain tries to block out painful things."  
"But she was talking about the first time we met." "But that's good." The little man said, smiling. "When she wakes, don't overwhelm her with questions. Bring her things from home that she likes, music, when she asks answer truthfully." "What if she never remembers?" I asked and I sobbed out loud, but he shook his head briefly "Nothing to suggest cranial trauma, she was responsive when she was brought in." I sucked in a sharp breath. Only one word filled my head, trauma. "When asked, she responded with her name and yours."   
"Where did they find her? What the hell happened? I want to know what happened!"  
"I can't tell you that." He shrugged and I wanted to shake or slap him, "visitors saw her lying outside the door." "What?" "I can't tell you any more than that, someone dropped her off outside the hospital as injured as she was." "And left her there?" an icy sting ran through me. Then the doctor's phone rang. He answered it, said his goodbyes and walked away with quick steps. I went back to the room, but before I could enter, Arthur stood up and asked how she was. I told him as far as I knew and pushed down the door handle, but froze when Arthur noticed. "We are not in a good place at the moment." "What do you mean?" I wanted to hit him; did he want to compare his misstep, for which he alone was responsible, with what had happened with Charlotte? "Well, I mean..." he looked at me, pointed at the chair next to him and then talked like a waterfall. "First we get these flowers and phone calls and I suspect Brian and he suspects me, until one day there was a card with my name on it. But I didn't cheat on him, you have to believe me!" I couldn't listen to this shit and was about to get up when he grabbed my arm. "All the bookings in the apartments that were then cancelled," he made a serious face. "Then the one with Tom." "What do you mean?" I hadn't heard anything yet to suggest that Tom had any problems. Except with his lesser shares, and us of course and the money. Even though it was all bullshit, it took my mind off the nagging question of what had happened to Charlotte for a few minutes.  
"Well, when Mary was trying to find the contact of the people who had cancelled at such short notice, she found some porn movies on Tom's computer." I wiped my eyes. I had noticed that Tom had been even weirder than usual lately, but the fact that he was so stupid as to let his wife access the computer where she could find something like that made me doubt his sanity. "What are you trying to say, Arthur?" it was too much effort for me to think about what Arthur was trying to say. "I'm saying that it's all at once that it almost can't be a coincidence." "What a load of crap!" I cried "But Diana's social media accounts have been hacked and her credit card, didn't you realise that?" Arthur screamed and began to cry. I couldn’t handle all this bullshit, stood up and went back to Charlotte.

I don't know why, but her closeness reassured me. Even though I continued to freak out about her and whether she would remember us again, but just that she was there, breathing and her heartbeat beating steadily made me incredibly grateful. I put my head back down next to hers and spoke to her. After a while I was woken up with a thud as another nurse rushed into the room, as if she was with elephants and not in the hospital. The white of the bedspread was piling up in front of my eyes and I felt a light pressure on my head. My heart thumped excitedly as I reached for it and realised it was Charlotte's hand. So she had been stroking my head while I had been sleeping? That was a good sign, wasn't it? I pulled myself up and kissed her hand before the nurse shooed me aside so she could do her job. "Someone is waiting for you outside," she said, pointing to the door. I stood up. My knees back and neck hurt, but I didn't care. I looked once more at Charlotte, who had moved her head again during the last two hours, and went out. I immediately saw that the two men in front of me were from the police. They had this serious aura and I immediately felt the bile rising up inside me again.   
"Mr Parker?" one of them asked and I nodded silently. "How's your wife?" the other asked and I explained that she was still asleep. "Do you know what happened?" I asked and they looked at each other for a moment and after the older one nodded, the other answered my question. "According to the evidence so far, we assume that she fell down somewhere." Shit, shit, what did that mean? What had happened? What had happened? WHAT HAD HAPPENED??? I'm going to go crazy if I don't finally find out! "But where?"   
"That's what we have to find out." Then they asked me what I knew, where she was, who she had met at the address given, whether I had a telephone number and so on. They agreed that Arthur would take them to our car; I gave him the car keys and asked if they thought the client had anything to do with it.  
"We can't rule it out.” and the other said, "We're looking for the person who dropped her off outside the hospital."   
"Who was that?" The two were silent and just shook their heads for a moment, apparently they couldn't tell me. "Who would do such a thing?" asked Arthur, and the older of the two then said what I had feared all along.   
"We assume that the person who delivered her here has something to do with her condition."

I closed my eyes. I felt so sick. Who would want to hurt Charlotte? Why? She hadn't been robbed, her things were in the car and she had her jewellery with her. Thank God nothing else had been done to her, but the idea that someone had pushed her down somewhere just for fun?  
I sank down and buried my face in my hands. I couldn't take it any more; I didn't want to hear any more. I didn't want Charlotte to have experienced something so terrible. Arthur pulled me onto a chair, but I pulled away from him and turned towards the door.  
"When she wakes up, try to talk to her, maybe she can tell us what happened." The officer said and I nodded silently. Then the two of them went with Arthur and left me alone. 

I got back to the room and asked into the darkness "Why you and not me?"


	6. memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories come back, some nice, some not so nice....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The drama continues for a while, but there will be a resolution soon!

Apparently I fell asleep again with my head next to hers, because I hadn't noticed that someone was in the room again. I thought you were supposed to recover in hospital, how could you do that if someone came into the room every three minutes and messed around with the device in the corner or with Charlotte?  
"Mr Parker, please go home." The old nurse told me. "No, I'm staying here." "We have increased the painkillers, she will sleep and when your wife wakes up she will probably want to brush her teeth and wash, maybe even get some clothes on. Go home and get her things." "But I… No!" No, someone else could do that; I didn't want to leave her! "Please, you know best what she needs." She nodded vigorously as if that would change my mind. "Go home, get some rest, the next few weeks will be exhausting enough." What does that mean? Hospital staff should have training in dealing with anxious relatives. After I made sure Charlotte was really asleep and promised her again I would be back very soon, I ran out of the hospital, took a taxi and told the driver to wait twenty minutes in front of our home. I gave him more than enough money for that and ran in, got under the shower for only two or three minutes. Then I grabbed a bag, threw in two pyjamas, her cardigan she wore the day before, her warm socks as she always had cold feet, and underwear. Then I ran back into the bathroom, grabbed her wash bag, and threw in her dental and beauty care products. That hair clip she used to pile her curls on top of her head, hair ties. As I grabbed her brush the bowl where her earrings and other little things lying fell down, but I didn't care. I took our charging cables and the tablet with me, and then ran back to the taxi, what was really still standing there. I thought about how I would talk to her, what I would remind her of when she was awake and my heart ached when I thought that hopefully she would be awake. When I got to the hospital, the same shift was still working and they looked at me pityingly but said nothing. I went quietly into her sparsely lit room; not wanting to wake her because she needed her sleep, and it was still in the middle of the night.

"Hello." She said softly and I thought my heart would stop. Hers beat quite quickly, which I noticed by the beeping sound of the monitoring device. "Hey babe." I walked around the bed took her hand and kissed her on the mouth. She looked at me out of huge eyes, seemed surprised and the beeping became faster. Ooooh shit! She still didn't remember. Fucking hell, what do I do now? What do I do now? "Charlotte, I...so uuuhhh, yeah...how are you feeling?" "Like shit." She admitted, but grinned at me, she was just incredible. "I'm sorry I wasn't there." Shit, I shouldn't have gone home. "It's ok." She smiled her smile and I was about to give her another kiss, but I should probably slow down. I pulled the chair to me with one hand and sat down. She was watching me as if she was looking for something in my face and I was already tearing up again at the thought that she didn't recognise me. The thought hurt so much that I preferred to ask more questions. "Do you need anything? Are you thirsty?" She shook her head and explained that the nurse had already brought her something to drink. "Do you want to change?" "Not yet, I'm still so tired." Her gaze wandered briefly to her leg before she turned her face away in disgust. "And that could be rather exhausting." I was slightly confused by her witty comments or was she still so wired up from painkillers? "Do you know what happened?" "I can only remember a few things." Then I followed her gaze to our hands. Should I let go of hers? Didn't she know we were together? I slowly loosened my fingers, but she reached for them. "Sidney." God! I really thought I was going to die when she said my name so softly, like we'd just... well, you know… and it seemed like she was thinking the same thing, because her cheeks turned a little red and her voice was hoarse as she asked "Tell me about us." What should I tell her? What did she mean by that? What exactly did she want to hear? Like how we met? I searched her gaze and she was still looking at me as if she was thinking about what it was all about. I took a deep breath and told her about our meeting in the club. I shared the memory of what her smile had done to me, her moves on the dance floor, that we had danced and kissed. Even though I knew every little moment of what we had done after the first kiss, I didn't want to get too specific. "So we...uuuhm yeah we made out a bit, if you know what I mean." "I think I do." She turned her face away for a moment and I didn't know what else to say. I just said that it had hurt me when she had left and that we had met again in the candy shop. "Oh, yes, the candy canes!" Her eyes lighting up, as she seemed to remember something, then she looked back at me and closed her eyes. She pulled her lips into her mouth and withdrew her hand from me. That hurt, but I didn’t know what to do, so I gave her some water and told the teenage version of how we got together, but left out the painful part for now, I didn't want her to get upset. I just admitted that I was an asshole who was afraid of a relationship and concluded with the words "but fortunately I got my shit together!" She nodded and I didn’t know if she remembered, or if she just believed me that we were a couple.

She kept falling asleep for a few minutes, a nurse kept coming in, and I got messages from her parents and friends, which I always answered when I was thrown out of the room. And of course Arthur told me that he gave the police her things from the car and that the officer told him they would come back to me later. In between another doctor came for morning visit, in the meantime it was already after seven a.m.! This doctor explained again that Charlotte and I should not put any pressure on her, but that the memory would come back on its own. Charlotte smiled and nodded, but I saw tears in her eyes. How awful was it to not know if this all was true? When the doctor and his companions had left, Charlotte asked me for the toothbrush and I gave her everything she needed. She wanted to do it on her own, which was not so easy with her left hand, which still had this needle in it, but she didn’t want any help from me. Afterwards I carefully washed her face with a wet flannel and that reminded me of a situation in our bathroom, although it was quite different... well, or ended differently (as you know what I mean). 

Charlotte had taken a bath after a hard day at an interior trade show, while she was relaxing with soft music and candlelight; I brought her a glass of wine. She had closed her eyes and I started to drip hot water on her forehead with her sponge, which supposedly helped her relax even more. In between I kissed her, which usually led to more with us and it wasn't long before she had positioned herself in such a way that I could spray drops on her bosom with the sponge and the cold air made her nipples hard and of course I couldn't restrain and stroked them with my tongue... I froze. I couldn’t think of that now! I was startled and put the flannel in the bowl of water and gave her a towel in which she buried her face for a short while. Her face was red and I blamed it on the rough way I had washed her, but her look made me think that she had thought of something similar. I still wanted to ask her what was going on, as she shook her head with a grin and then asked if I could help her with the rest when a student nurse came in to bring breakfast. And I was happy about it, I couldn’t imagine washing her. Not that I couldn't control myself of touching her, but I was afraid that her bruises on her right side would make me collapse like a heap of misery and so I wouldn't be any help. As she had breakfast I told Charlotte about our travels, I showed her photos on my mobile phone of our holidays, short trips and city tours, she was happy that we were by her parents and looked at the pictures with them a bit closer. When she brushed my fingers to see better, my whole hand tingled and I wanted to take her in my arms so fucking much, but she seemed to be this intimidated, insecure girl again, which she wasn't really, but was in the beginning of our relationship, her look told me so. She smiled as she looked at funny pictures of us two and shook her head as if she was surprised.   
"During the night you stroked my head." I told her to show that her subconscious seemed to remember me and tried to figure out what she was thinking, but she only smiled and closed her eyes. The doctor had told me to tell her about everything we did, how we mainly spent our evenings. But I could hardly do that! (You know what we mostly do at night) so I told her about everything else instead. How we teased each other when the other tried to concentrate on something, our favourite movies or what we had seen last in the theatre. That we liked to cook together and always did as much sightseeing as possible on our trips, and that wasn't a lie! I told her about her work as an interior designer, that she did it in Bedford place as we got together and that she was know her own boss. The thought of it made her laugh in surprise and she could remember that she always had doubted herself and would never have believed it of herself. "You supported me." That was not a question but a statement and I hoped she remembered it and didn't just believe it.

Another nurse came and said that the catheter had to be removed and sent me out. I felt so sorry for what Charlotte had to go through, even though she herself had said that she could stand the pain as long as she was distracted by me. I don't know why, but it took a long time for the nurse to come out again. I went back and my heart did a somersault when I saw her. She was beaming and I was so happy at that moment as she looked more like herself (on her forehead was now a smaller plaster, though her face was still blue under her left eye), that I only noticed everything else afterwards. She sat up a bit straighter in bed, as far as that was possible with her leg in this strange construct, waving at me and I saw that her hand was bandaged but the needle and tube were gone. I went closer and took her hand.   
"Sorry." She said with a smirk. "For what?" I asked, confused, and she laughed a little sheepishly and pointed with her chin down at herself. Only then did I see that she was wearing my t-shirt, which I had apparently thrown into her bag by mistake. "You always wear my clothes." I explained and she nodded, tears welled up in her eyes and then she said something that almost made me collapse. "I know." "You remember?" "Not everything, but that I'm wearing clothes that are way too big and smell like you." I was so happy that I kissed her; I couldn't help it and apparently neither could she, because she didn't hesitate and let herself be kissed. When I pulled away, she looked at me and I was about to ask her what was wrong when she blushed and turned away. "What is it?" "There's something you haven't told me." Oh shit? What did she mean? Did she know that I had broken her heart because I was an idiot? I had to explain it to her. "Well, I didn't want to tell you this yet because..." "I didn't remember you?" "Yeah. I mean I didn't want you to think about something that was so uuuh...." how was I supposed to say it so it didn't sound so crass? "Private?" She asked and I nodded, yes private. She nodded, stroked her hair out of her face with her left hand and then said quietly, "Maybe you'll tell me about it later?" "Whenever you want." "Ok." she grinned mischievously and bit her lip. The rest of the day went on just like that, nurses and doctors coming and going, Charlotte sleeping and eating, sending me to get a decent coffee and in between I told her about our life and she remembered little things. A certain situation, what we had eaten or how the beach of Bali had felt under her feet. Suddenly she said something like " Does the offer to travel with the backpack through South America still stand?" and I was so happy and promised her everything she wanted. In the late afternoon she was so exhausted and slept so soundly that I spent an hour calling everyone, fetching something to eat and talked to the doctors again, who were already telling me about rehabilitation facilities and physiotherapy, even though she hadn't even been here for twenty-four hours. I quietly slipped back inside and, focused on her face, I didn't notice her bag lying on the floor and tripped over it, causing the chair I always sat on to fall over with such a loud crash that I startled myself. But the worst thing was that Charlotte screamed and jerked both arms forward, crying out in pain as she twisted and the beeping of the monitor was so shrill that I was afraid her heart would jump out of her chest. I immediately ran to her and tried to calm her down and wake her up. "The stairs!" she cried, wailing loudly. It was so horrible! Fucking shit! "Charlotte, you're safe." I didn't know what else to say, I stroked her face and she was breathing very fast, but she turned her face towards me and as I was almost lay on her, her face came to rest against my neck. Her left hand had clawed into my shirt and she whispered my name. I heard her heart beat a little more slowly now and stroked her sweaty hair and kissed her tear-stained cheek. I didn't realise anyone else was in the room until I was pushed aside and a doctor and two nurses asked Charlotte what had happened and how she was feeling. Then the doctor checked her leg construction and said to me that fortunately it hadn't shifted. I felt so sick that I almost threw up. Her screams had gone through my body like a sharp flash and I hated myself for being responsible for it. I only managed to pull myself together when she assured me that she had had a nightmare and had only woken up because of me. 

She told me about her memories, although she wasn't sure if it was just a dream, but I had to tell the police about it, I called him and was worried when he said, "Yes, it's consistent with the indications we found."


	7. proof

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlotte can remember more and more, not only Sidney, but also almost everything that happened, as she got hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my dear detectives. I must say Patitotb has already guessed who is to blame (Good job!), but I still have a small puzzle until the next chapter and then it will finally be something more... cosy again. 
> 
> Enjoy!

While we were waiting for the police, I tried not to ask Charlotte too much about the details, although I really wanted to know what had happened. Had she really fallen down a flight of stairs? If so, where and especially why? She seemed restless and asked me to distract her and I explained things we still needed in our new home, thinking it would be fun for her to think up themes and furniture for the rooms, but she turned her head to the side and looked at her arm which was in a plaster bandage from hand to armpit, she tried to avoid looking at her leg and had even asked a nurse to put a cloth over it so she wouldn't have to see those wires and screws disappearing into her skin. In between as I got her some tea, I had caught her crying and muttering that she would never be able to dance and work again. Immediately I took her in my arms and let her cry out her sorrow on my shoulder before reassuring her that we would do everything we could to help her get back to the way she was before. It would be an arduous journey as her upper arm and forearm were broken, not to mention the multiple fractures of her lower leg. I looked her firmly in the eye and she seemed to believe me. 

"Are you now going to tell me about...uuuh… the private things?" She asked sniffling, I didn't quite know why she wanted to hear the horror story of my stupidity when I had broken her heart and almost lost her, just now. I thought that wouldn’t be such a good idea, when she was already sad and stuttered as I tried to find the right words, when she said, "I have dreams." "What kind of dreams?" She chewed her lower lip and I saw her blush, slowly it dawned on me that she didn't mean our almost break up with private things. She meant PRIVATE things.  
"What do you want to know?" I tried to be objective and cleared my throat when she said, "I dream of an office and my forehead leaning against a brown door when you... when you made me..." she broke off and giggled. I noticed how her hand, which I was holding in mine, began to sweat and I thought it might be better to whisper it in her ear. Her breath and heartbeat were getting faster, when I told her all the little details what we had done in this office and when I looked for a moment, she had closed her eyes, her lips were slightly parted and honestly, how could I resist? I put my hand to her cheek and kissed her. She immediately opened her mouth and let my tongue in, we tried to be very careful, but the kiss went right through me. God I was so glad she remembered. She did, didn't she? I looked at her when she opened her eyes and nodded.  
"What?" "I remember that." "Kissing?" "The taste of you and your mouth..." she stroked my face and I fell in love with her all over again just by the way she looked at me. "That I love you." She wiped my cheek with her thumb. Shit. Was I crying? Ooh fuck! What would she think of me now? That I'm a total wimp, crying here because she told me so and she has to endure pain without end. Pull yourself together you bum! I shouted in my head and then she surprised me again. "Tell me more." "What exactly?" She leaned her head further towards me and I was so close I could count the different shades of blue on her right cheek. "Next, what we did in the Candy Shop." She grinned and I shook my head, but she nodded and so I told her that part too, quietly in her ear, until she almost crushed my hand and made a strange noise. The excited beeping from the monitor was annoying and when the nurse came in to see what was going on, I asked her to turn it off, but she said impassively, "Mr Parker, you know you shouldn't put so much pressure on her to remember. It will all come naturally." "I know." Charlotte also nodded and as soon as the nurse left we both had to laugh like two children who had cooked up something. It was so wonderful to hear her laugh that tears came to my eyes again. What kind of a sissy was I?! I pressed a kiss to her cheek so she couldn't catch me whining.

Just as I was about to tell her about our first real date, there was a knock on the door and the two policemen entered with that worried look that tells you its bad news. Honestly, they should take acting lessons and learn to keep a neutral face. Charlotte became nervous, squeezed my hand and her heartbeat quickened again. First they asked how she was doing and then they recorded what she could remember on their mobile phone.

"The floor was stone…. granite, not marble. It was cold and that's why Mrs... Mrs... I don't know her name." She looked desperately at me and I tried to show her it was okay. "Just go on Mrs Parker.,” one of the police officers said and I saw her smile at the mention of her name before she closed her eyes. "Lots of light. A big window fronting the garden." then she described a few more things like which carpet the client wanted and that everything upstairs seemed quite cold too. The client placed the orders after Charlotte had got the floor plan. "Yes, we found these documents in your car." "Why don't you tell us what happened?" I asked, but the policeman wanted to hear everything else Charlotte remembered first. "I remember the stairs were grey. Concrete, I'd say..." she thought. "I...I was..." she breathed faster and she started to cry, I took her hand with both of mine and squeezed it. "I don't know why, but I guess we were arguing." Oh damn, was there a disagreement and she, what... did she fall? "Her hand... I remember the stairs coming towards me, it hurt so much." I felt that pain run through me, it felt like all my insides were being ripped open. I kissed her cheek and then looked at the police officers. "We found some things in the files, the contracts you made with the lady, but the name was not the right one."  
I was shocked. A fraud? "However, we found a business card with a different name on it and it matched the deed to the house..." "The card was beige, with white writing. Very classy." Charlotte's gaze was somewhere in the distance, then she slipped her hand from mine and she looked down at it as if she were holding a business card. "I went back to see her, I was so...so distressed." The beeping of her heart showed that she was now too. "Please stop torturing her." I begged, stroking her exhausted face. One of the policemen stepped closer to the bed and showed her a picture on his mobile phone, but I couldn't see it. "Mrs Parker do you recognise this woman?" "Yes, that's her!" Charlotte looked relieved, she smiled at me. "I can't remember her name, but she was... so posh somehow. Wore classy looking jewellery." I was happy for her, although my brain was whirling. Then the policeman held the picture so that I could see the woman too.   
FUUUCK!! That couldn't be! "But babe," I felt sick, "that's ELIZA!" in my brain just blew a fuse, all I saw was red…FUCK! I can't remember exactly what happened, but I must have gone a little crazy. I heard myself screaming, "I'll KILL that BITCH!" everything was swirling. She trapped Charlotte to push her down the stairs? Did she want to..? I couldn't even think the word.... But what I could remember then, I was standing against the wall opposite the bed and one policeman in front of me. I was talking faster than my brain could keep up, but I remembered her threat after Diana slapped her. I told them about the jewellery, the shares.  
"What I don't understand," Charlotte said in a calm voice, "when she pushed me down the stairs, why didn't she leave me there?" I gagged at the thought that this could have happened. "We think she had qualms about leaving you there.,” explained the older.  
"Based on what we know now, we believe the crime took place as follows:" the younger told us, paused and looked at his notes, "In revenge or retaliation, Mrs Campion tried to use you to claim your services under a false name and since you pay in advance, before you bill her..." "The cheques would bounce." I finished the sentence and in a flash I remembered the things Arthur had told me. I gave them this information too. Then they continued with the explanation of how Charlotte had got into this bad situation. "It seems to us that you somehow received this business card, either it was lying somewhere or she gave it to you by mistake..." "I don't remember." Charlotte said worriedly and I sat down by her side again. "Finally, since all your things were in your car…" "It struck me there and I ran back." "Yes, the description of the stairs matches the stairs in the garden leading to the garage, that's where we found the blood." He pointed to her forehead.  
"And then?" Charlotte asked after a while, how could she remain so cool? "We assume it was an assistant, because on the camera in front of the hospital you can clearly see a tall man who left you here." I pulled Charlotte even closer to me and she took a deep breath.  
"We're looking for her, she's disappeared." Eliza had so much money, she was probably already on a tropical island somewhere, enjoying the sun and the certainty that Charlotte was in bad shape. "And the man?" I asked toneless as Charlotte and I looked into each other's eyes. "The car registration number is still in the analysis, but we'll find him."  
That was supposed to reassure us, but it didn't really. "We're assigning civilian colleagues." I was freezing, would they come here and try to do .. Hurt her again? "Why?" My voice sounded hollow. "We believe that although Mrs Campion is a cold businesswoman, she didn't mean to do harm as she did." "What makes you think that?" I yelled, stroking my hair, he didn't answer, just said. "We think she'll come here," Charlotte's heart beeped louder. "To see how you are." "I think she's somewhere in the Caribbean." I grumbled and got only the answer. "She hasn't been on a plane and her private jet was not moved since weeks." I groaned in agony. "Please do not tell anyone, including your family, about the status of the investigation." I asked them why and he looked at his colleague and said than, with this expression on his face, what told you that he was not telling the truth.  
"From what you have told us, they may be watching your family." I thought that was a bit far fetched, but they reminded me that Mr Campion owned a software company, so they would check him out too. Still, I couldn't imagine that this old geezer, who had millions on his bank account, would bother with any of his wife's little games. But I didn't say anything. 

Charlotte slept through two hours when the two policemen finally left and I spoke to her mother who was standing at Sardinia airport waiting for her flight to London to be called. Even Charlotte's father was there, although they had both always said they would never come back. Not even to our wedding (although they did). I asked Arthur to pick them up, and he and Diana would bring them to Bedford place there they could be sleeping in my old apartment. I talked to Charlotte’s friends, Mary and Tom. Mary slept in one of the children’s room, as she couldn’t believe that someone else had installed the porn on Tom’s computer, except himself. Since I couldn't say that for sure either and was supposed to keep quiet anyway, I didn't say anything. In secret I thought it was okay that he had to bleed a bit too, because all in all it was his fault. He had made business with Eliza and her husband. 

The days dragged on and it wasn't until Charlotte had been in hospital for almost a week that we got another visit from one of our police officers. He said they found the owner of the car. Her heart was beeping extremely fast, (even though she was no longer on the medical monitoring device, I could feel it by her pulse) she pressed my hand and tears flow down her cheeks. She looked at me in pain after she had seen the picture the officer showed her and I was feeling ill and couldn’t believe what I saw and Charlotte cried and asked me "Why?" 

But I had no answer, I didn’t know anything anymore, I was feeling numb and cold and pressed her to me as she cried against my chest. Though it was of course obvious that we knew him, the officer officially had to ask whether we were acquainted with the man named…


	8. finally results

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally there are results. Sidney sees red and Charlotte is a bit desperate....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As some have already suspected... 
> 
> I'm really happy about your many opinions and ideas and that you told me you like my story, what really is great as I know a lot only read it but would never comment on an explizit story ;-)
> 
> Thanks y'all!!

I was feeling ill. Wanker!!! The anger and rage inside me wanted to get out, but I had to suppress it to comfort Charlotte. I would have liked to jump up and smash the wall. That asshole! Why had he done that? Put her on the stairs! He couldn't even carry her to the hospital!! This son of a bitch! "Calm down." said the policeman and I almost jumped on him if Charlotte hadn't clawed at my shirt. Calm down? Was he crazy? "He just put her there!" I screamed and Charlotte yelped. "He should have brought her in!"  
The policeman made a note and then explained that we didn't know exactly what had happened. Maybe he was being pressured; maybe he was afraid of being discovered by the cameras in the hospital entrance. Yes, of course, the poor man! I'm sure he had good intentions. I almost threw up at that. What a load of shit! "If no one had come by!" I couldn't finish thinking that, but she could have frozen to death. The fucking asshole had almost killed her! If I see him I’ll kill him. And that's what I almost did.

When I came back from the kiosk two days later, because Charlotte wanted the new AD magazine, I came into an empty room and went crazy. I ran down the hall to the nurses who told me that she had gone for an x-ray to make sure that the leg had started to heal, as it should. As I went back into her room, opened the window and arranged a few things on her bedside table, I suddenly heard her screaming in the corridor and ran out. The fucking wanker was a real pain in the arse to show up here! I saw red, pounced on him and dragged him away from Charlotte. I threw him against the wall. Looked at her to make sure she was all right. He pushed me. The next moment my fist smashed into his fucking face. He almost toppled over from the force and I felt nothing, only blood-red rage. I wanted to see him on the ground. I heard the blows rather than really felt them. He also fought back, but I didn’t felt it either. But suddenly my arm was twisted back and my face pressed against the rough wall. Screaming, but I kept still and as soon as the grip loosened, I freed myself and recognised one of the civilian police officers. He talked to me about calming down, we've got him, and other bullshit, but I was already in the room and ran to Charlotte. She took me in her arms and since her arm was still in the plaster cast, it was a firm grip, more like a vice. She screamed at me that I could have been hurt and worse things she threw at me and as she did so, she frantically kissed my whole face and called me names. "I love you, you bastard" was one of the less violent things she said. Then she looked at me and stroked my face in a tender way. "Thank God he didn't hit you." Then she kissed me so slowly on my mouth, and the adrenaline pumping through my veins and the rush of intense feelings that this protective instinct and her kissing awakened in me made me loose it. I pushed my tongue almost brutally into her mouth and greedily devoured her. Her greed, which struck me with equal urgency, did not help to calm me down. It was embarrassing, what I did, or she with me, yes yes it was her fault. Why had she to kiss me like that? I was almost lying on her bed and if it hadn't gotten a little louder outside the door, I would have thrown myself on top of her and would have done more. But then I thought, for fuck's sake, she was hurt and in hospital! I tried to tear myself away, but it didn't quite work because I was still trapped by her plaster arm. She liked it and grinned cheekily, lifted her face towards me and pressed her tongue into my mouth again. I was so keen on her. "Charlotte, we have to stop..." I moaned as I came away for a moment to catch my breath, but I didn't let her answer and showed her with the next kiss how much I desired her. She moaned as my hand automatically stroked from her neck down, but I controlled me and clasped her waist.  
“I want to be alone with you.” She whispered and her voice got directly in to my dick, but I told her that it would take some time to do what we both longed for and she began to cry again. She didn't want to let me go and I really don't know where she got the energy and strength from but she pulled me to her on the bed. Although my ass was hovering over the edge of it, I managed to lie sideways to her and push my arm under her neck. I still held her waist with the other and she tried to turn towards me as far as this fucking device on her leg would allow. I was really glad that she was so flexible, because it was almost a real hug with our whole bodies. And it felt so good. 

After a while, one of the civilian police officers came and told us that they had arrested James Stringer and taken him to the police station. Just hearing his name made me see red again and Charlotte closed her eyes for a moment and frowned as if she too was going to throw up.  
"He was like a brother. A friend. I don't understand." She said later at some point after the policeman had taken her and my statement. I mumbled something about not knowing what exactly had happened to let him do it, but inside I was still seething, I was still freaking out, what he had done and the old jealousy got me, as I remembered his possessive interest in Charlotte.   
"The sex was intense." She suddenly said and I jumped up, what did she mean? "The jealous sex after we went to that jeweller." She explained, as if I could ever forget that! Her voice was so rough and yes I knew what she was going through because I felt the same way. We really needed us.

And it didn't get any better... this urge to be alone, but Charlotte was generally feeling a bit better every day. It was probably also because the events had now been cleared up. Not only had James Stringer confessed everything extensively, he had also said where Eliza was hiding. In Arthur’s hut! Because that was how she had somehow tried to pin it on our own family, to destroy us completely. James had not only been jealous of me, but out of frustration against our company and especially against Tom's further delays in payment, he had made a deal with Eliza. She had promised him double what Tom, or our company, owed him if he would give her any information about Charlotte. At first he didn't really understood, because he wanted to hurt us, me in particular, but Eliza had made it clear to him that if he wanted to hurt me, it could only be through Charlotte. Unfortunately she was right. However, it was supposedly only planned to ruin her financially, so that he could have offered her a new job, since his company was doing better in the meantime - with Eliza's help. He stupidly imagined that Charlotte would accept his offer and that my jealousy of him and their close collaboration would eventually lead to our break-up. He really didn't understand that Charlotte only saw him as a friend and, more importantly, that she loved me.  
He hadn't done anything forbidden so far, apart from the fact that he had approached my sister under false names and started something with her. I had also reacted to this news with extreme nausea. Eliza knew that Diana was single and would jump at a handsome man as soon as he showed interest, because she didn't have a very high opinion of herself when it came to her effect on the opposite sex. Of course, Eliza hadn't done anything on her own, but had let someone else do the dirty work. Someone who had hacked all of Diana's social media and credit cards. The flowers Arthur had received from the alleged secret lover had been paid with them, so Eliza had tried to destroy trust there too. The porn on Tom's computer wasn't her work, though, or she didn't admit it, because Eliza knew it would cause a deep rift in Tom's relationship and she maybe thought that if she could at least destroy one Parker relationship, that would break us all up. But we weren't like that. Even though I often thought Tom was an idiot and he often didn't deserve Mary, they loved each other and of course I hoped they were happy. Brian forgave Arthur as soon as it was cleared up. Which wasn't quick enough in Arthur's opinion and he spent long time acting like an offended child because he expected more trust from his husband. I could understand that, but when you consider that the two of them had already had an affair before they separated from their respective partners, you could understand it. They were now going to couples therapy, a bit excessive in my view, but whoever needs it...

Charlotte didn't need any to process the things that had happened. I was glad that I gave her enough strength to confide in me. Not all the memories had come back completely, but it always happened that she remembered something while she was doing everyday things, like brushing her teeth. By now she could do that very well with her left hand. Just like combing her hair, painting the toenails of her left foot and the fingernails of her right hand. 

What she couldn't do, strangely enough, was open or close buttons. I always had to help her with that. And although I liked it, it surprised me a bit at the first time.

"Sidney!" she had called out in a neutral tone and ordered me over. Her, or rather my old lumberjack shirt, the only thing she could get over the plaster cast, was askew half buttoned and she just pointed at it and looked at me innocently. I undid the buttons at the level of her belly and before I even touched her she took a deep breath. Then I let my index finger move very slowly up her flat belly to the next closed button and opened that too. We both breathed audibly faster and I felt my whole focus tighten on this feeling. I WAS my fingertip and could finally feel her warm soft skin under me. By now I had reached her collar and opened the button there too. We looked into each other's eyes the whole time. My finger went up her neck, over her chin, and only came to rest on her lips. She kissed my finger. Opened her mouth and I slowly pushed my index finger in, but immediately withdrew it and kissed her hard. My hand was tingling; it wanted to touch her on other parts of her body, neither her shoulder nor her neck. But I pressed it into her pillow and her healthy hand went under my shirt. As soon as she touched me I flinched. Not only because she was cool, but, fucking shit, I was so... full of... grrr…I wanted to touch her and kiss her and finally be with her... in our bed or wherever. I had such a longing and I wanted to hear her moan with pleasure and lust and not with pain and sorrow.   
"Touch me." She whispered between kisses and I put my hand to her face and she growled "properly." I mean, what... WHAT the fuck was I supposed to do? Of course, what my wife demanded!! My hand slipped under her shirt and I touched her bosom for the first time in what felt like ages and we both gasped. I wasn't wild, but very cautious and stroked her nipple with my thumb slowly until she made a tortured sound and I really grabbed her, while our kiss became wilder and Charlotte couldn't hold back any more and stroked the bulge in my jeans.  
"Oh fuck babe." I moaned and she moaned "yes... please... I need you." what? Here, NO we can't! I gasped her name because I could hardly breathe. The lust was killing me. Her hand grabbed mine and pushed it under the covers and I panicked that someone might catch us and pressed it on her belly. She understood my concerns and moaned in annoyance, but continued to kiss me, pushed my hand to her other bosom and I stroked that too.

"When can I get out of here?" she asked desperately and I had to tell her that it wouldn't be soon. "I know." She grumbled and then asked me to button my shirt, after I had done so she pulled me back onto the bed and snuggled up to me. "I just wish this would all be over."

Yes, I wished that too and pulled her tighter against me.


	9. rehabilitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally Charlotte is healing and everything is rehabilitating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess the last chapter was boring or something, because it seems like no one has read it, so I really hope this chapter is much more to your taste! 
> 
> Have fun!

The weeks dragged on and it was really exhausting. Charlotte became increasingly impatient and was quite annoyed when the physiotherapist came to help her stay mobile as much as possible. Not because she thought the exercises were stupid, but because her right leg and arm were still not healed completely. Then there were moments when she was quiet, lost in thought and a single tear rolling down her cheek. She felt herself to be useless and was afraid for the future of her business, as of course a few clients had cancelled. However, Charlotte wouldn't be Charlotte if she let it get her down. I had already brought her everything she needed from home in the second week and she created her emails, estimates and orders with her left hand. When it got too exhausting, I relieved her or one of her friends who came to visit. But of course, she still couldn't satisfy everyone.  
Her parents lived in our flat and took really good care of us. They went shopping and cooked and came over at lunchtime. Then they urged me to leave so I could go to work and sort things out. But our frustration still rose for the other reason. 

We finally wanted to be alone again, if you know what I mean, and yes, Charlotte was asking for more than I wanted to and could give her in that stupid hospital room. So I had to tell her about our adventures, which I did gladly and honestly, when you tell your wife how much you love her and then tell her all the things you've done, but neither you nor she touches you anywhere, I tell you the lust becomes unbearable. I was telling her about the last time we were together before all this shit happened, while we were pressed together on her hospital bed. My hand intertwined with hers on her belly, very well behaved over the bedspread. And I was dragging it out forever, trying to tell every touch as slowly as possible, and I tell you I was already about to explode. Charlotte moved restlessly until she couldn't stand it any longer and pushed our interlocked hands down, she bent her leg and pushed her hip up. I could only guess that I was between her legs because the thick bedspread and her tight grip prevented my hand from really feeling it. But damn it, she came, quietly and only short and yet this wave of lust tore through her. Her face got that look and I released my fingers from hers and let it run under the blanket and the very next moment I pushed my fingers into her hot pussy and she came right away. I couldn't hold back any longer and put my face on her bosom, sucking her hard nipple into my mouth. And even though the fuzzy fabric of my shirt was what I tasted, I was greedy for more. She pressed my head closer and moaned into my hair as I continued to stroke her and press my hard boner against her side. And luckily, in a hospital, loud people surround you and we scattered as the next nurse made her heard in the corridor. I slid off the bed and stood at the window as if looking out into the rain. Luckily the nurse only brought tea and then left immediately, otherwise she would probably have taken Charlotte's temperature, because her face was red and her eyes shone feverishly.  
"I'm sorry," she said, looking at me with an apologise smile, I went over to her and stroked her face. "Everything is fine as long as you are happy." I saw tears glisten in her eyes before she pulled me close and kissed me again.

This game of suppressed passion lasted a few more weeks until I took her to the rehab clinic in Sanditon. As soon as we arrived there, Charlotte blossomed so much that I thought she was back to her old self and she had more interest to go to the physiotherapy immediately. After I worked at our apartments (I had taken over Tom's job), I came back in the evening with some things she ordered and looked at her. She was sitting on the bed leaning against the headboard and beautiful as ever, her hair was in big waves and she wore a knee length bright blue dress, her still healing leg in this cushion splint. "Lock the door." She said and I did it, without giving a 2nd thought. I went to her and kissed her, she was smiling and explained "I had a bath." I was glad this simple thing made her so happy, but although a bit jealous, because some nurse had seen her naked but of course I said nothing. "We are alone." Charlotte said and only at this words I got it. We were alone in a locked room since they left our home in January! I dropped everything I was holding in my hands and tore off my jacket while I went to her, sat down and pulled her into my arms and I kissed her tender.  
"Do me a favour?" "Any." I said. "Please Sidney, I want to look at you." After I understood what she meant I stood up, and stripped for her, not like the Chippendales, just like a husband who wanted to please his wife. I kept on my boxer briefs and she stroked softly over my abs and the bulge I couldn’t hide "Come closer." I took one more step and she reached for the briefs and pushed it down. My more than half hard-on jumped out and a thrilling flash ran through me as her hands gripped my hips and she tugged at me, till a kneeled down on the bed, with a hoarse voice she said "Closer." My legs were kneeling to the left and right of her hips and she pressed a small kiss on my dick. "Babe!" she wouldn’t…but Oooh shit!! I had to stop her and asked breathless "What are you doing?" Charlotte looked at me for a short moment bent her head and the next moment she licked the tip of my cock and it almost killed me. "Sidney!!!" and it was like her voice was pulling me closer. I braced myself and held onto the wall and dared to look down. The tip of my rock hard dick was against her lips and as she opened them I pushed slowly into her mouth. Oooh fuuuck! I twitched and moaned and told her I would come if she didn’t stop, but she licked my dick so tender I was about to cry. I tried to withdraw, but she hold my ass in a firm grip and sucked me deeper in. "Babe noo! I want…" my heart hammered against my chest, but my brain was still awake and the next moment I pulled me out of her hot mouth and looked at her.  
Then I knelt down next to her and although I noticed that she was impatient, I took my time undressing her. She sat there and let me do it. Unlike in the hospital, she was wearing a turquoise bra, which I hadn't seen in such a long time and I looked at her for a while. Shit man, she was so beautiful, although the colour made her skin look even paler and she was quite bony. I was glad that she hadn't lost an ounce of her gorgeous bosom and I stroked them reverently. Her nipples immediately came to life, but I controlled myself, began to kiss her slowly. Her arm, which had lost all its muscles and was a lot thinner than her left. Then I pressed my head into her breasts and undid the bra. I caressed and kissed her, but not where she wanted it the most and had such a brutal hard-on, but I had to take it slow for both of us. Charlotte stroked me and the touch let me almost come, I moaned and pressed her hand against me, till she lay down and pushed her legs apart. I kissed up her healing leg and pressed my nose between her legs and breathed her in.  
"Sidney please." Charlotte tugged at me but I waited and I let my eyes wander over her. She was so pale and skinny, but not less beautiful and terribly aroused. With gentle fingers, I began my journey on her forehead. I traced every dimple, her nose, and her cheeks. Charlotte pushed her mouth towards me with a desperate sound and we kissed deep and intense. She arched her back, I knew that she longed for my dick and I longed for it too, but I had to hold on a little longer. I was afraid that as soon as I entered her I would come. Her flat stomach contracted deeply as her breath grew heavier, her ribs came out even stronger and showed me again how much she suffered the last months. I needed a short break and my dick came to rest on her stomach. The first contact made us moan and after I had back my control I let my fingers and tongue flew over her perfect red nipples till she almost screamed I should stop to torture us. As she lost so much weight her full bosom seemed even rounder and her arousal ran down her body in a red flush. I ran my thumb over one of her nipples and got another shiver form her. I pinched it between my thumb and finger and Charlotte moaned loud as I rubbed my cock against her belly and she jerked under me. I leaned on one of my arms so to not crush her leg and hovered over her; I blew over her hot body, leaned deeper and pressed my tongue on the other nipple. I caressed it tenderly while continuing to pinch and squeeze the other. Then I bit it tenderly and she whined. I grabbed her bosom, rubbed them hard and kissed and licked them. I noticed how she tried to slide her hand between her legs, but I took it in mine and kissed it. “Soon.” I promised and she moaned frustrated.  
"I want you. NOW!!" Charlotte demanded and I was only able to nod, when she pushed her healthy leg further apart and I got down. Frustrated she moaned as she got what I was about to do, but of course she liked it. I watched her and saw how much she longed for me. Her beautiful pussy, red and pulsating, was glistening wet and willing. I licked her slit, Oooh yes, she tasted so good and unstoppable I nibbled at her wet folds and licked her in big and smaller bows. Charlotte begged for more and what else could I do, but drill my hard tongue into her and fucked her with it? I pressed my whole face into her and she came all over me. "Uuuh oooh Si…dne…yiii!!!" I withdrew and tried to breath and I just couldn’t wait any longer, I pressed her left leg more apart and dug myself slowly into her. We both moaned so loud as we felt each other finally and I pressed deeper up to the shaft. I could no longer hold back and just got two or three slow strokes, before I began a brute pace. Hammering into her and she pulled up her knee to her bosom, and I plunged even deeper. We both screamed very loud at the same time and all became a roaring, she clutched tightly around my cock and moaned when I poured myself into her and I felt so full of love and everything as she milked me empty for the first time since New Year’s eve. 

Since then we both been got better every day and the doctors have noticed it too. Once one of them said, "Whatever you do, keep doing it!" and we both burst out laughing as soon as we were out of the treatment room. This afternoon was a relatively sunny late March day, we were out in town she was annoyed that she was being pushed around in a wheelchair and we were having something of a bitchy little argument about it when we passed one of the little gift shops that was hardly visited. Charlotte wanted to go in and look around a bit, I saw that glint in her eye again, which told me that an idea was forming in her pretty head, and all the way back to the rehab clinic I asked her, but she only said "Be patient, I’ll tell you when I’ve finished thinking about."  
Charlotte was very busy in the mornings; she had her physiotherapy sessions and tried to satisfy her clients as much as possible. I went over to see her at lunchtime and often she looked tired but happy. I have to admit, living there in Sanditon was so much more pleasant than at home. Of course I missed our place, which we still hadn't completely furnished, and being close to my siblings and friends, but here I could just concentrate on three things. Charlotte, her recovery and the work in the apartments. It was relaxing and Charlotte felt the same.

One of the afternoons she wrote me a message saying to come straight away and of course I dropped everything and ran to her. I took the shortest route through town and was surprised to see her in front of this little gift shop. I ran up to her and asked her what she was doing there, alone and all. "I have a present." she said and than she stood up from this hated wheelchair and walked one step forward me, into my arms and I whirled her around. "It’s not much yet, and I should take the crutches, but…" 

I kissed her against the window of the shop, but she stopped it and seriously asked me something and I was happy that it was a question I was about to ask as well and the answer changed our whole future.


	10. simply the best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What did Charlotte ask and what about their future?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thanks y'all very much for your time to read my story, albeit it's smut I think it was a trip that was worth it. A journey with falling in love, fears, feelings, love, sex, misunderstandings, the past and the closure with such, something bad happened and now everything will be fine. 
> 
> My intention is to let the series end here, but on a better conditions than the original and I hope with an ending that you'll like and makes y'all happy.

The question Charlotte asked was, "Can we stay a bit longer in Sanditon?" "Yes." We grinned and then I asked her how long and she shrugged and smiled her sweet smile. "Don’t know." "Tell me, for just longer or longer-longer?" "Really?" it was amazing how well we could talk to each other without even talk. She was beaming all over and flew into my arms until she couldn't stand any more and fortunately told me immediately. She sat back in the wheelchair. "I have another idea." "What is it?" and I already had an idea, because it was certainly no coincidence that we were standing in front of this Souvenir shop again. "I thought..." she glanced at the shop and I finished the sentence for her, "that you'd like to have this shop?" "No, not that kind of bric-a-brac, more interior, deco, things you buy on holiday but like to keep visible at home, not things which you’ll forget in the cellar." "Something that will last." I said and she nodded, I leaned down and kissed her. "When I'm fit enough again, we could look for something suitable where I can start as a partner or something." "Or you could just rent your own." "Rent my own? No I don't think that..." "The lawyer says it looks very good with the pain money." "But I can never rent a shop with that!" "But if you do?" We smiled and I took her back to the clinic for her treatments and half an hour later I was sitting in my office working, I also looked through the ads to see if we could possibly find a new home here. So far she was still living in the clinic and I was officially living in one of our holiday apartments, although of course I was only staying with her. I also talked to some old acquaintances and my siblings about what we were going to do and even though it would possible only be temporary until Charlotte was fully recovered, of course we had to give up our flat in London for the time being.

There was a lot going on over the next few weeks one piece of good news after another came in. The first was about the fucking bastard James Stringer. Though he had helped to caught Eliza and at least according to the law had done nothing that could be proven to be a crime, his reputation had been damaged. He was supposed to have run away to Ireland to work for a distant cousin. I hoped that it was true and that he would stay there and finally leave Charlotte alone forever. The news about Eliza made me even happier. First of all, she had been sentenced to 3 years and it served her right, her husband divorced her so he could buy his way out of the mess she was in. She had to pay a huge amount in damages, which was small consolation for what Charlotte had to suffer, but if the amount our lawyer told us was true... Charlotte could afford more than just one shop.  
But the best thing was, I had a house in sight that I was sure my wife would like. It was a bit up the cliff, yet not too far from the town and the shop a friend of mine owned and I wanted to show her that evening. It was medium sized shop with large windows in a side alley of the main street. On the 2nd floor Charlotte could have her office and atelier. "Would that really be possible?" Charlotte kept asking in amazement as we stood in the shop and I could see in her eyes how she was mentally arranging everything. "Yes." She wrote a few things down and then asked me to help her to the second floor and I took her in my arms and carried her upstairs. There were lots of windows too and she was overjoyed, and really guys isn’t that was the best part?! She kissed me passionately and then I told her we had to move on because I wasn't finished with my tour yet. "But I've already fallen in love with this place!" she grumbled and I explained that she should just wait and see. Downstairs I put her back in the wheelchair, which annoyed her but I explained that the place I wanted to take her to was too far away to walk for her. Even before we reached the house, she knew which one I was aiming for. I don't know how, but she said from far away, "Is that our house?" and I was so full of happiness that she loved it already. We were barely over the threshold when she stood up again on wobbly legs and pulled me to her. And what she said then...I know I’m becoming a kitsch poet but fuck really... "Finally we've arrived." and she didn't mean the 15-minute walk. She meant us. Here. It was our home, we both knew it.

And contrary to what Eliza had tried to do, our family stuck together. They all helped together, even Tom, to facilitate our move here. They and our friends helped us prepare the move and Mary and Diana helped Charlotte clean the shop for a whole week. I insisted on putting a couch in her atelier/office so she could lie down and rest in between, because everyone knew what Charlotte was like. Tireless and sometimes maybe even unreasonable about working. But she listened to me and realised that she should take it slow. Being meticulous and precise, she didn't want to open until she felt fit enough anyway and everything was prepared so that she wouldn't be empty handed if three people bought something from her and her priority was to get better anyway because the leg was still giving her problems and of course, she loved more to make our house our home. It sucked when I had to go to London so that I could get the last of our personal things which where still in Bedford place and handover of the last key to the new tenants, who already lived there for two month. I just didn't want to leave her alone, I was still afraid that something would happen to her when I wasn't there. She laughed at me, called me crazy and yet we kissed so hard and for a long time, as if I was going on a long journey with an unknown outcome. Only after we had ended up in bed once more and loved us slow and passionate I could leave her.

But of course I didn't stay long in London and came back earlier than planned and I hadn't told her anything so I could surprise her. I sneaked into the house to see where she was. Charlotte was standing in the kitchen, it seemed she prepared dinner. She was wearing one of my t-shirts and the sight alone turned me on. Her legs, one as muscular as ever and the other still a little thinner, her perfect little ass, which she held out in my direction as she bent and put something in the oven. I went closer and either she really didn’t hear me or she played the game along, but she didn’t turn. I slide my arms around her and she sighed as she leaned against me. I kissed her neck and both my hands wandered under the shirt. "I missed you." she told me and pressed against me as I cupped her bosom with one hand (she didn’t wear a bra) and let my other hand slide into her panties. "So much." I answered and pressed my hard-on against her ass. It was the same position like in the club we met more than a year ago, and she arched her back, so we could kiss. It was sloppy and wild and we needed to be joined immediately. I turned her to me, lifted her up and walked in our living room. I set down on the sofa and she made her self-comfortable on my lap. We kissed and tore of our clothes, till she stood up and took off her panties. There she stood in all her gorgeous glory. She was so beautiful and I was happy that she wasn’t so skinny anymore. She looked healthier and I bent to her and kissed her belly, her hips, my mouth searched for the perfect trimmed triangle while my hands kneaded her perfect ass. Charlotte bent down to me and kissed me hard, opened her legs, but before she could sit down on me, my fingers found her wet folds and stroked them, first slowly, till she accelerated the pace. "I like that." she moaned and my thumb pressed against this little pearl and rubbed it till she began to twitch, as if her hungry sweet little pussy wanted to devour my fingers. "Sidney!!" More I didn’t need to pump my fingers into her, while I pressed her ass with one hand and licked her clit with my tongue. One, two, three times… than I tugged her on my lap, I couldn’t wait any longer. She slowly settled down on me and I pushed a hand into her hair and grabbed it harder than intended while her tightness took me in. I moaned as she arched her neck back and I licked her tender skin. She lifted her hips slowly and looked me in the eyes, she bent her back and she took me deeper in while she pressed her beautiful bosom closer to my mouth. A long shiver rolled over her body while I let my tongue run hard over one of her perfect red nipples, they seemed just more perfect so close and I took my time to lick and kiss them gentle, before I sucked one in very hard and she moaned my name in a deep voice. She wanted more and I knew she wanted me harder, but in this position I liked it this way and it drove her crazy. "I need more." she cried and tried to speed up, but I held her hips. And lately Charlotte got frustrated very quick if she didn’t get what she wanted and after two more strokes she clenched down on me to get more friction. "Wait, babe." I begged but she didn’t care and the next moment she stood up and walked away, almost crying. Ooo fuck yes, she was angry… I ran after her, grabbed her lifted her up and pressed her against the next wall while pressing myself hard and relentlessly into her. Charlotte smiled as if she had won and I gripped her face and I bit her lip until she opened her lips and my tongue raged in her mouth. I literally devoured her. My hand ran roughly over her body. I let go of her mouth and grabbed her bosom. "Yes, aaah…uuuh." I licked her neck and ran my teeth along her collarbone and bosom; I sucked one of her nipple into my mouth and flicked it hard with my firm tongue. Her moaning sent a shiver through me. Her eyes were big, her cheeks reddened, her lips swollen. Her bosom overlooked by my bite marks and yet she was so beautiful aroused. She screamed and clawed her fingernails into my shoulders. Her heat embraced me soaking wet and hot and for a short moment I hesitated, because of her leg. But since she did not complain, I held it firm in my hand and continued with my attack. Again and again I rammed fiercely into her. "Say you.. missed it this.. way!" She demanded, while I grabbed her ass and squeezed it hard. Her face got that expression I loved so much and I licked into her mouth. Her thin arms clasped my neck and she pushed her hips towards me with every thrust. I knew what she wanted, but I forbade myself to give in. "I missed it." Charlotte cried and I knew it, she didn’t like to be the fragile little woman she was after the injury. To show her I didn’t saw her like that I squeezed her nipples between my fingers, I felt her pulsating around me. I slowly pulled back and the way she whimpered just gave me the satisfaction that I needed and I continued to hammer hard into her, she was already shaking…. and me too be honest. "Say you like it too." she moaned I leaned back and saw my cock poking violently into her and her lustful screams drove me even further. I pushed even deeper in her, as the tingle run through my body and she clapped my neck and bit it. "Yeees, I love to take you hard!" She was almost singing with pride. "But… babe…I love to fuck you… in any way." I groaned the truth as we both came in the same moment.

Later we ate the slightly charred lasagne and giggled like obsessed little children. Just the thought of sex made me hard again and I looked forward to later. At some point she discovered the bag I had brought from London and asked me what was in it, as she wouldn't actually miss anything. "Oh stuff from our bathroom. Medicine, make-up and towels."  
"Towels!" she shouted and wrote the soft on her pad where she collected ideas for her shop. She had also created cushions, blankets and place mats, but also small carpets, floor mats, foils for walls and curtains for showers and windows. I loved it when she was in a creative frenzy, she would pull her lower lip between her teeth and looked so beautiful with her red cheeks. Often she was very creative after sex and while I was ready for another round she painted all down until I couldn't take it anymore and started kissing her. But not today I felt she was quite tired and than she asked me, if I could show her what was in the bag after she laid down on the sofa. Her eyes were heavy and her face still a bit red; I knew her leg hurt and I got her some ice to cool it down. We looked at the stuff and after a while I went to get a bin bag, because most of the make-up and creams had expired or were simply no longer usable. Suddenly she stopped. "What’s wrong babe?" I asked did she have too much pain?  
"I... oh shit!" "What, what what's wrong?" I panicked, jumped up from the floor and pulled her into my arms. "Speak to me, does your leg hurt too much?" even though we had been fucking against the wall and I had been holding her leg the whole time, maybe it had been too hard?  
"I... oh damn." she started to cry and I kissed her, what was going on, what was going on? I begged her to tell me. She gave me a glister pack and I looked at it and than in her eyes again, I didn’t know what she was about to tell me. "I... forgot." She cried even more but let me pull her in my arms. "I'm sorry, I must have thrown it down when I brought you stuff to the hospital. What is it?" then I read the label. Oookay?! "I... forgot I haven't thought about it… I" she sobbed, "I take so many pills that I didn’t really…" "Charlotte." I said in this voice that clamed her down immediately and she looked at me. "If that's how it is, we'll manage that too." She smiled, nodded and she told me. "I love you so much."

Friday, 11.40 p.m.

So now we're sitting here on the floor outside our bathroom. Our hands fused together into one huge lump, sweaty hot and full of expectation. My heart is pounding up to my neck and Charlotte is smiling, completely relaxed, she's totally calm. Her other hand is on her belly, although there is nothing there yet, if there is anything at all, and I put my hand over it. We look deep into each other's eyes and smile like completely dumb idiots. No matter what the result will be it won't change anything. I am already so happy and so is she. I can see it in her eyes. I am bursting with light and happiness I have no words. I am full to the brim with love... for her and the children we will have someday.

She leans closer and kisses me in that way that tells me she wants me and I deepen the kiss as the alarm goes off. We reach for the test, look at it and...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That is the end how I had it in mind from the beginning.  
> Everyone can picture it as they want...
> 
> Love y'all!


End file.
